From my old pal Michael Neff, I share this present - his list of favorite and deeply troubling Christmas songs. I swear, all of them, each of them, every single one, is actually a song...
Michael writes: Vince -Every year, I look forward to playing these highly-depressing songs. And, answering the suicidal calls that follow. *special note* - These are REAL songs!
The Little Boy That Santa Forgot - Nat King Cole
(" ... he's such a sad little laddie, 'cause he hasn't got a Daddy")
Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas - John Denver
(" ... don't make Mama cry, as you get high on beer and wine, that's why she's cryin' all the time")Christmas In Jail - various country artists
(" ... he's spendin' Christmas in jail, 'cause what he did with a gun, it just wasn't fun, and now he can't make bail")
(" ... he's spendin' Christmas in jail, 'cause what he did with a gun, it just wasn't fun, and now he can't make bail")
The Lost Puppy - Terry Clark
(" ... the puppy I got today, it just up and ran away, so please bring him back to my toddler, as that's what you ought to do, so my baby's dying wish can come true")
Santa Got A DWI - Gretchen Swinn
(" ... the reason Santa didn't come this year, like your no-good Daddy, he had too much beer, so go ahead and cry, Santa got a DWI")
Mama's Gone On Santa's Sleigh - The Cartwrights
(" ... when the kids ask why Mama died on Christmas, this is what I say, she went to be with Papa, she left that day on Santa's sleigh")
The Ring That Broke The Circle - Patty Lovelle
(" ... the ring he gave me for Christmas, I couldn't accept like this, I couldn't tell him that the baby, it just wasn't his)
Not having to listen to any one of the above should give us all cause for great joy and contentment this holiday season.
