The 5th of July always waves the green flag for what's left of summer to rip, to fly, to evaporate.Next stop - Labor Day.
Depressed? There's still some space under that bus.
OK, we all know, and I mean really know, that there's at least another seven weeks of "summer" left, even if you're a grump and a cynic and a whiner, bummer, bum, or wet blanket who allows the 4th mark the midway point.
Did I say, "Next stop - Labor Day?"
How about, "Next Stop - The Twilight Zone."
One of the more enjoyable things the 4th brings these days is SciFi's Twilight Zone Marathon. Perhaps its biggest draw is it being an alternative to all the nothingness on the other several hundred channels available at the tip of my index finger.
Saturday night, though, we took a little time out from Rod Serling to watch The Boston Pops on CBS. Can someone explain this show to me?
Not all that many years back, maybe not even ten, The 4th of July Pops Show was about the best out there, including the "have-to-hear-on-the-4th" 1812 Overture. (A piece which has zero to do with the USA. It's Russian in origin, and Russian in basis and foundation. We've made it our own. Also no, I really don't know why. It has far more to do with the French than us.)
So, what do we have now with the Boston Pops? We hit CBS at the very opening of the show, just in time to catch Craig Ferguson introducing Neil Diamond singing Sweet Caroline. Right. Sweet Caroline. We glanced at one another and said in near unison, "What the hell does this have to do with the 4th of July?"
And the rest of the show was as equally perplexing. After one, maybe two Sousa marches and a patriotic sing-a-long, the fireworks finale was allowed to air uninterrupted accompanied by...no, not the Boston Pops, but rather by a mix of recorded contemporary music, much of it country.
What was once a terrific 4th of July production has come to be the ultimate in "I don't get it..." And for the show's producers not to use the Boston Pops for the finale has to be a snub unlike any other to Keith Lockhart and the fine orchestra he conducts.
Oh, and there was no 1812 Overture to be had. Just a guess - they perform their signature number BEFORE network coverage begins. Brilliant.
I will say one thing: Craig Ferguson manages to show considerable restraint when he emcees this show, Saturday's was his third. Did you ever get the sense that Ferguson, funny and likable as he is, is about one small step away from coming completely unglued, taking off his clothes, and running off cackling into the night?
A few hours earlier, we caught about five minutes of another 4th of July television show on PBS. A live show on which we were treated to Barry Manilow lip-syncing Copacabana. That was kind of a warm up, a tease, for the ultimate "I don't get it..." Sorry to ask the obvious - neither Copacabana nor lip-syncing have anything to do with the holiday, right?
Are public fireworks displays in decline?
Seems to me that also not that long ago the list of fireworks displays was long, very long. Looked like it was a whole lot shorter this year, maybe because it was scattered across three, even four nights. I can easily recall a time when these things were few, maybe a couple in both the Scranton and Wilkes-Barre area.
Since most neighborhoods in NE PA sound like Antietam come Independence Day, I got to wondering what, if anything, had changed with the legality of fireworks since I was a kid. Surprisingly, I'd say nothing has changed. I have an easy and simple rule of thumb when it comes to fireworks in this state.
Just think of Gleason's "Bang, zoom!" If it explodes or flies - goes bang or it zooms - it's illegal. Pretty simple. Not so simple, compliance with existing law.
If you're curious about a state by state list of laws, here you go.
What is the 4th of July all about?
The 4th of July commemorates the adoption of The Declaration of Independence by the Second Continental Congress, a holiday to be celebrated by and for all Americans. Without going on about specifics, let me just say that I heard some pretty odd things about the origins of Independence Day over the weekend. Despite not being a teacher, or a parent, or a school director, I still think that civics, local history, and Pennsylvania history should be a mandatory course in each grade's curriculum beginning with first grade and running through twelfth. While I'm making a speech, and in keeping with a patriotic theme, what you hear about George Washington not being born in the United States is undeniably correct. What those spreading this nonsense either don't understand, or would rather you not understand, is that when Washington was born in Popes Creek, Virginia Colony, the United States didn't exist.
Finally, what might be my favorite all-time 4th of July story, and a very true one.Somewhere in my teens, I spent a 4th with a friend and family at a lake in Wyoming County. The focus of the day was to be an enormous and "private" fireworks show launched from the cottage owner's dock right after nightfall. Off-limits for much of the day was about half the dock, the half at the end of which was the lake. That's because the box of fireworks, and it was one honking big box, sat at the edge of the dock not to be disturbed by anyone until showtime when bombs would be bursting in air.
Things went wrong. Before dark, things went very wrong.
A discarded cigarette had landed in the fireworks box. I know, I know, this all sounds like a goof, right? It's not, not at all.
The grown-up men had all been guzzling beer most of the day, meaning that the men in charge of pre-detonation safety were getting a little sloppy. One of them, and it was said unknown to him, tossed a butt from the lawn near the lake. Speculation was that the wind had blown the burning butt into the box.
Here's where things get murky. See, there's this legend, this alternate account of what happened.
In the years following this incident, the story emerged that "the boys" - the youngest was probably 45 - were bouncing cigarette butts off the box and having a few laughs to go along with those few beers. One of the boy's aim was skewed by the brew and his lit butt landed in the box.
Oooooops.
By the time they found the nerve to peer into the box and fish out that butt, the hissing had already begun, some fuse had been lit.
Sobering up in one big hurry, the boys scrambled for cover, yelling to everyone within earshot to run for their lives. We all did.
It took but five minutes or so for the entire box of fireworks to fizz, whiz, bang, pop, thunder and ka-pow, all the while propelling flaming debris at every compass point. No injuries were reported.
The only casualty was that dock.
About a third of the dock had been weakened such by the unscheduled display that it creaked, leaned, and splashed into the lake. What was left behind smoldered, shortly thereafter breaking into visible flames and burning down to water level.
Now, on to Labor Day!
