So, there I was. It was me and the door. Showdown time.We've lived here for seventeen years. Over that time, our front door, our entry door, has managed to eat at least four or five lock-sets. Why? I can't even float a clue here.
Locksmiths have been to our place more than some family members.
The first encounter with the lock guy results in their trying to repair things. Failing that, they replace things.
I swear I saw one, a locksmith, go slowly past the house yesterday, somehow sensing another piece of hardware had tanked. As I quickly turned to make his eyes meet mine, he goosed it and roared down the street, the jangling of keys fading as he sped away knowing that he'd soon return.
Like hell.
It started hassling me a few weeks ago when it started sticking, sometimes making the door harder and harder to open. Compounding that is the mystery of the door that forever needs sanding. The door edge that meets the frame looks to me like its regenerating. Every time I haul out the orbital sander, slap on a medium-grit pad and a face mask, fill the house with sanding dust, all is well for, oh, maybe a month or two.
Then, it's back. Yes, I do know all about expansion and contraction due to heat and humidity.The puzzler is that there is never any contraction, it's always expansion, and that defies some law of physics, right?
I've considered doing some planing on a couple of occasions. Planing could do the trick, planing could also be cruel and unforgiving. A little too much pressure and all is lost. And you can't Superglue what you shaved back where it was.
So this past weekend I was determined to solve both problems. After sanding for a half hour, gently, in small increments with a very light hand, some progress had been made. Good.
Next, I take the lock-set apart in search of answers. As always, there are none. Forget it, let's just go buy a new one and be done with it.
The spreading headache wasn't all that bad. I've had worse.Seeing how I'd watched professional locksmiths agonize over this demon door and its tumblers, strike plates, and knobs, what chance did I have of actually swapping out the entire bum unit for a new one?
Somehow, I did it. Somehow, it didn't take that long. Then somehow, the thing didn't work right.
Brand new, out of the package, all shiny and bright with smooth operation well-tested before tightening the bolts, it now wasn't all that smooth. It was sticking. And there was no apparent reason. Until...
Until I completely removed the new lock-set and peered through the oval hole in and out of which that part of the lock-set which is supposed to go in and out of goes. Certainly it has a name. You know which part I mean? Sure, I thought so.
Sticking my index finger in the hole, I half expected to get bitten by the spirit of the door. Instead, there it was. I could feel it plain as can be.
There was the problem and it was likely what had bedeviled professional locksmiths for years. The hole itself was of unequal diameter and shape throughout its length. Sounds like time to measure, then measure again - you always measure twice - do some calculating, make a sketch or two, then deftly begin your work.
Nah, no time for that crap. Hand me my Dremel tool.
I love my Dremel. Sometimes I just open the case and stare at it a bit, usually wondering why I spent what I spent when I bought this rig, this outfit, which was quickly supplemented by the 7,000 piece accessory kit. Or was that the 11,000 piece kit?
Now, here's the best part of it all. This is truly the pay-off, the sweet of the deal. My Dremel is the rechargeable unit, I've no time for dorking around with power cords, this here is a man who needs to be portable, to go where the challenge might be. I hadn't used my Dremel in maybe a year, meaning it hadn't been charged in that much time at least.
I loaded up a sanding wheel, locked it in, and spun the speed control. This thing whined like it was fusion-powered. The battery was fully charged. Amazing. Whoever makes Dremel's batteries, and however they are made, they have achieved perfection; a rechargeable battery that holds a charge longer than a week to ten days.
A few turns around the hole for the in-and-out thing, another rub with my finger, another bit of gnarl still there. A few more swipes from Dremel and done.
It worked. That was it. Our longstanding lock problem was never a lock problem at all, it was a carpentry problem. And Dremel solved it.
Another successful weekend project brought to you by the makers of Dremel rotary tools.
I figure come November it'll be time for another.
